AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

Why do people insist on pissing me off? WHY?!? Why do you do stupid things? Why do you ask me stupid questions? I wanna know WHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY!

Oh, another bad travel day!

Yup, another one!

So, it started with waking up at 5 AM Monday to pack my luggage and make it down to the bus for 6:45. Then we drove for about 2 or 3 hours to Detroit. So, get to the airport, where we are flying Airtran. Well, there is only 2 people working at the counter, so when all 30 of us come piling off the bus, we create a line that extends all the way to the door. Insane!

So, I get up there, and of course I have to shift things in my bags cause one is heavier than the other. Not a big deal. Make it through security. All is swell.

So, get to the gate. Now, the only places to get something to eat are Starbucks and Quizno's. I decide to just wait until our 2 hr layover in Atlanta, and just get some Starbucks.

So, the plane is a little late, so the gate agent is yelling at us to get on the plane quickly and whatnot. So, we start boarding the plane. Well, the plane kinda starts to shift while we are getting into our seats. See, they loaded the luggage a little too far back or something, and that with the added weight of us getting on the plane messed up the balance on the plane. So, they ask us to get out of our seats, and simply WALK to the front of the plane to even it out.

Well, it didn't work. The shifting weight caused the plane and the jetway to move in opposite directions, messing up the cabin door. Meaning we had to get OFF of the plane, and wait for a new plane to arrive. Well, that only took 5 HOURS! So, I had MORE Starbucks, and some Quizno's, met some fun people in the airport, and finally got on a flight to Atlanta.

Well, that flight was ok, until we hit some bad weather, and the plane hit some rough turbulence, and we kinda fell out of the air a bit. Well, we all jumped up and freaked out a little. Then we circled in the air for 30 min or and hour before we finally landed in Atlanta. We would have missed our connecting flight if it wouldn't have been delayed!

Well, we finally made it to Memphis. Ugh, what a travel day!

This week in Grand Rapids, MI!

So, here we are, in Grand Rapids, MI! Well, not much has been going on here. We had kitchenettes this week, so I played chef! I cooked meals for Jeff and I, and made some good shit!

But we did also hit up this great Mongolian barbeque place called BD's. It was awesome. Usually, you get noodles in your bowl and everything, but here, you just did all the meats and stuff, and then they brought rice and tortillas to your table! Oh I loaded UP on food! It was so good, we went there twice, and I think Jeff went back for a third trip!

Besides that, Grand Rapids was pretty calm. I'm waiting until we get to some better cities to go and enjoy the town! We did have some fun times here. We went to Denny's one night and had a great waitress named Cinnamon. She was this wild black woman, but a hell of a waitress!

There was also a 24 hr Dunkin Donuts/ Baskin Robins! There is nothing better than a half a dozen of chocolate covered, creme filled dounts at midnight!

So, we are off to Southhaven, MS - which is really close to Memphis! Woo hoo! I think I am going to splurge a little bit and buy a new digital camera so I can take some pictures and post them on here! Hopefully I won't lose this one!

Goodbye Grand Rapids!!

Suddenly I'm Miss Midwest Midnight Checkout Queen!

I had to go grocery shopping. I didn't have anything to eat for tomorrow, and I was lazy yesterday and slept instead of going. So, I went tonight ... around midnight-ish! It was awesome! There were only about 2 or 3 other people shopping. It was quiet, and easy to get around! I loved it! So, a big ol' shout out to Meijers for staying open 24-7 so procrastinators can get groceries too! :)

Let's get PHYSICAL!!!

Now that I am back on tour, there isn't much to do. Well, there is, but it all cost money! Everyone else is going to get lunch at "insert food chain here" or going to the mall AGAIN!

Well, since I am trying to save money, I've decided to do the gym thing. Working out doesn't cost anything - thanks to the lovely ticket trades we do with gyms so we can work out for free! And Jeff and I are cooking in, which is not only a good way to save money, but also allows us to cook healthier stuff!

And with Halloween coming along, it can't hurt to have a hot little body to barely cover up with a costume! ;)

So, this guy is my new inspiration. I'm going put on my leotard and leg warmers!

These past few weeks in Fargo, ND!

So, I've been in Fargo the past few weeks opening the new tour. Well, it's just been a lot of rehearsals and whatnot. We finally opened the show this week, and all went well. The office people were pleased, and everyone was happy!

So, we are now headed to Grand Rapids, MI! It's nice to finally get moving and "on the road." We've pretty much done all Fargo has to offer - which isn't very much!

So, goodbye to the myspace lounge - which is actually the lobby because the internet in our rooms is crap. Goodbye to the Cashwise and the liquor store. Goodbye to the Dairy Queen! Goodbye to late nights drinking on the patio in front of the hotel! Goodbye Fargo!

It's the day of the show, y'all!

So, tomorrow is opening night! Thank the Lord! We've been rehearsing for about 2 weeks now, and I am ready to just get in the routine of doing shows again. Rehearsals wear me out! We've been doing 2 full costume runs a day ALL WEEK! We've done 7 full costume runs this week already, and we have 5 shows this weekend! UGH! I am so tired!

But, everyone is doing a great job, and everyone is pleased with the way things are, so it's all good! Ooh, I can't wait until our first day off!

So, go check out http://www.sesamestreetlive.com to find out if I am coming to a city near you!!!

Oh, and that is what I am wearing to the opening night party! Isn't it grand? ;)

So, I've been thinking. A dangerous pasttime, I know! haha...

Anyway, I have been. About everything. Love. Career. Friends. Everything.

And I'm lost. In some situtations, I am not sure if I want to go back to what was, or move forward into something new. Or I know I have to move forward, but I don't know where forward is. It's all just so confusing sometimes.

I know that overall, I want to be happy. Things don't have to be perfect - just enough to keep me happy. I think that I am in a transitional place right now. Like a springboard to the future. I know where I am is going to help me get to where I need to be, so I guess I just need to stick it out now, and know in the back of my head that things will be better.

I guess my fork in the road is a spoon. Or maybe a spork?

The ffurry feeling of the day is ... SAD!

I hate bad moods. I hate being in a bad mood. I hate other people in bad moods. I just hate it.

As you can probably tell, I am currently in a bad mood. I hate when I get like this. I just dwell on the bad mood, making it worse. And I don't want to be social, even though I know that getting out would probably be GOOD for me. UGH!

So, I am taking my bad mood out for dinner with the cast, and maybe I can kill it by drowning it in sangria! Hmph!

Rum Drunk Drunker!

Have I ever mentioned how much I like Malibu? Last night, a few of the cast kids got together and drank a little but because we didn't have rehearsal until 1:30 the next day. Janice, my new tour lesbian, and I got Malibu. I love it. She mixed it with cranberry and a hint of pineapple. I mixed mine with OJ. Fun times!

Good clean fun!

So, today was our first day off - and it was well deserved! Well, a bunch of us decided that it would be fun to go to the beach. I know, you are thinking - where the hell is there a beach in Fargo, ND? Well, there is a lake about an hour away, and they have a man-made beach. Good enough for us!

So we drive the hour to get to the beach. Now, the weather has been bright and sunny for weeks. OF COURSE today the weather takes a turn for the worse, and it starts raining the minute we put our towels down!

Well, we all packed back into the car. We drove around for a bit, then just decided to go eat lunch. After that, we checked out this HUGE T-shirt sale going on, then we just went home. What a fun day off adventure!

Oh, but the best part ... There was a huge country music festical going on. Well, people were using this lake to bathe. We saw many people with their shower gel just lathering up in the lake, and there was even one guy shaving. INSANE!

Back on tour...

Ok, so, I'm back on tour. Rehearsals are going well. We learned the show in 4 days, and it looks really good. I'm sore as all get out - that's what I get for sitting on my ass for 3 weeks! Everyone seems pretty cool. But then again, it's just the beginning of tour ...

But, I'm already annoyed. See, we've got about 6 black people on tour. And it seems like they only hang out with each other. For instance, the other day, I get home from work, and "the blacks" - yah, that's what I'll call them - were all in the hot tub, while the whites were COMPLETELY on the other side of the pool area in the pool. HELLO! Segregation ended a LONG time ago people!

Then, last night, the cast went out to dinner - and they all sat on one side of the table. I mean, really?

So, that's that. It's only 3 months, so I don't want to stress out too much.

Splish Splash!

I fucking washed my phone! It was in the pocket of a pair of jeans, and it totally went thru the washing machine! FUCK!

It was on when it went in. I've had friends who've done the same thing, so I didn't turn it on or anything. I just took the battery off and I'm letting it dry out. I have my old phone, so I just put my SIM card in that one, and will use that one for a while so the other can dry out.

Any other suggestions?

Sucker punched!

Ok, I'm really confused. It seems that everyone around me is running hot and cold. One day, everything is all great and everyone is happy and friendly. The next, everyone is mad at me and I'm a total bitch. I don't get it.

Is it me? I know that my sudden departure to go back on tour has its effect. I've kinda shifted priorities. A friend of mine said that going on tour is me running from intimacy. No, going on tour is me making money!

I don't want to hurt anyone, or leave on a bad note. I'm coming back in 3 months, and I don't want to come back to issues that have been festering for months!

Can't we all just get along?

A brief lesson for dramatic queers....

This

is not the same as this!

Please note the difference before you go tell someone (who we will call Fag A) 's boyfriend that I was making out with their boyfriend. Actually, Fag A was completely wasted and kept asking me to "kiss him like a whore" - which I'm really not sure what that is anyway. I kissed him on the cheek. I do believe he might have licked me, but I'm sure I was frightened by the whole thing.

For the record, I don't like gay people.

GAY PEOPLE - F!!!!

Too little, too latte!

So, guess who called Monday morning asking if I could come in for an interview?

Yep, Starbucks! Of course they want to give me a job AFTER I said I would go back on the road for 3 months! OOF!

Well, I did tell the lady that I would still be interested, and she said just to come back in when I return! WOO HOO!

Maybe I'll be slinging coffee after tour?

QUEER!!!!!

Drama

Why do gay people have to be so dramatic? Especially relationships.

I would like to recount a little tale of some gays I know. Let's call them Kyle and Bruce.

So, Kyle and Bruce are young, attractive gay men. So naturally, they met and probably had sex on the first night. Well, this now means that they are in a serious relationship and are now dating exclusively. Well, for at least a few days, or until the next big "going out" night.

Then they go on this break up/ get back together thing for a while. They even have it planned out, saying "Oh, we'll probably break up by the end of the week." Well, after being apart for the first past of the week, they ignore each other at the bar on Saturday, but end up together by 2AM.

Or how about these other guys in the bar? One who has this crazy shit in his hair that glows in the black light, and unfortunately, it's not just in his hair, but all over his forehead, too. So embarrassing! Well, I've noticed that the past two weeks, he's ended up in some dark corner, totally sucking face with usually 2 guys at the same time, hands a-groping and whatnot. Very classy. Well, last night, I think his drugs went bad, cause all of a sudden he was on the ground crying and went out the back door! Madness!

Fascinating, isn't it? People, I can't handle this. I mean, seriously? Do you really think this is a healthy situation?

Please gather all personal issues, and exit to your right!

And your next challenge is...

... Make Miss USA look like a lop-sided booby tree trunk. The dress was weird.

Well, now Malan can go explore other careers, such as homicidal maniac or child molester. He was way weird.

And once more, in case you didn't get it ... WEIRD!

Caving in...

So, I got a message today. I got offered to go back on tour.

I said yes.

I need the money, as I don't have a job at the moment. It's the same role I just did, so I already know the show. I'll lose the few pounds I've put back on being home. It's only for a few months. It's with people I like.

I know - it's a step backwards. But ... it's a job. And at least I am doing something in the career I'd want to be doing. Not making lattes or getting peole drunk - although I do kinda want to do that.

Your thoughts?