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Thoughts ... on thoughts.

There are so many things that I want to say, but I just can't find the right words.

I've been to the place where I didn't have enough words. I've also been to the place where I've had too many.

But they are my words. My thoughts. Things happen, and they appear. They can't be stopped.

And this is my blog. This is my little place to vent. Good or bad. I put my thoughts out there, to make sure that they aren't as crazy as they sound in my head.

Sometimes I'm crazier than I thought.

But it's me. It's might not rank high on the public opinion polls, but ... it's who I am.

And for those, who I'm not even sure if they are still reading this, an apology. If I offended or hurt. I didn't mean to. We've both had enough of that in our lives. I still believe, despite all my thoughts, that you ARE a great person. I wish you better days, and a happy ending. We all deserve that.

Is it me?

Rehearsals

So, I'm in a show! YAH!!! One of my goals after leaving tour was to start doing more theatre .. you know, stuff where my face actually shows!

Well, I had a small role in The Secret Garden, but now I'm actually doing a show!

My brother's been writing a play a day, collectively called Life/Play . You can go read it, comment on it, blah blah blah. So, we are doing a staged reading of it for Festival International here in Lafayette. AND ... it's been submitted for the NY Fringe Festival! WOO HOO!

Well, rehearsals start tonight. And I'm a little scared. See, these plays are about my brother's life. And where other people will just look at it as a play, I've lived this stuff. I KNOW this stuff. Just reading it brings a tear to my eye most of the time. AND, I haven't been on stage in forever. I don't wanna suck. I'm playing myself, and I've lived this. How horrible would it be if sucked?!?

So, here's to the rehearsal process. And keep the end of April open - come see the show!

Ice Cream, Anyone?

WTF?

Sometimes life just gets to be too much. Today, a friend of mine asked me what's wrong, cause I've seemed distant and a bit out of it lately. And you know, I have been.

I've just kinda been letting life happen around me. Not really taking hold of it. Just letting things fall into place, including myself.

Now, I'm not saying that that's a horrible thing. I just hate the feeling when all the spinning stops, and you're dizzy as hell, and you're not really sure what just happened.

I think I just need to sit and take a look at everything. Do a little rearranging.

Making a difference!

So, I'm suddenly getting involved! I auditioned for my brother's play, and got cast. So, I'm back on the acting scene. That's not really making a difference, but it's a cool little addition to all the things that I am doing. More on that later!

So, at work, we have a team for Relay for Life - for the American Cancer Society. We're the Java Junkies, and I'm not quite sure what's going on, but I've signed up online, so you can go to my page and donate. Every little bit helps!

Casey's Relay for Life Page

Also, Joshua, a guy that I work with, asked me if I was interested in being a volunteer/counselor for an MDA camp. So, I'm filling out my interest sheet and we'll see how that goes.

It's nice to feel like you are making a difference!

GRRR!

HEY! If you are reading this blog, why don't you comment?

It makes me make the mean face!

GRRR!

Now go comment!

Change and Flow

Pocahontas once said ...

What I love most about rivers is:
You can't step in the same river twice
The water's always changing,
Always flowing.

It's something to think about. We always want to change things, or we look at situations and think that if things were different, then they'd work. But, the river is always changing. It's never the same. You can't walk back into that same river twice. It's always new ... different.

And just like water, the river of change wears things down. Somethings just float away with the current.

But change is refreshing, like fresh spring water on your face. It can quench a thirst. It brings new life to growing things.

Change and Flow.

MY HOUSTON VA-GAY-TION!

Well, I must say that I had a WONDERFUL weekend! I drove on down to Houston Friday afternoon to go stay with my friend Dustin for the weekend. I've known Dustin for a few years, but here's the funny part. We've barely hung out. We met while he was in Louisiana doing work stuff, and we just kept in touch over the years. It was really nice actually spending some time with him. He's a great guy, and totally fun! THANKS DUSTIN!

Oh, and I remembered my camera! So this post has LOTS OF PICTURES!!!!

Ok, so, to our weekend. Well, Friday night we went to see the Scissor Sisters. I really didn't know who they were, but Dustin was totally gung-ho about going. Well, I recognized a song or two, but overall, I totally enjoyed the concert. They are very Bee-Gee/Abba - esque. Totally fun. I might have to buy a CD or something. Oh, and the lead singer is super cute - and super gay! He was a blast to watch!

Well, after the concert, we went out to Guava Lamp, a cute little gay bar in Houston. We have a few cocktails, I got harrased my some guy would said I would be thin when I was older and that I was evil. Oh well, I made him tip $5 on a $5.50 bar tab! EAT THAT!

Well, Saturday was St. Patty's Day, so I was on the hunt for green beer! Well, I found it! We also found some really funny older ladies. They were wasted, but totally having a good time! GO IRISH!

Well, that night we went out again. We went to JR's, then headed to South Beach later in the night. Now, I have gotten RAVE reviews about South Beach from my friend Chris. Well, we has right. It was a pretty awesome club, and I can totally see now why he loves it so much. It was your typical "QAF" -esque bar. Here's a few pics of Dustin and I before the bar ...

Oh, and check out the cute shirt that I borrowed from Dustin for the night. HE wouldn't let me borrow it for "an undertermined amount of time." Damn him!

Well, Sunday was a pretty laid back day. We went to the movies and saw the new Sandra Bullock movie. I liked it, but Dustin said it was too predictable. Maybe that was because the crazy little Mexican girls behind us talked thru the whole movie and basically gave a play by play of what was going on. Silly girls!

Besides that, I got to get my fix of some of my favorite food places - Pappa's Burgers, Chipotle, and Jamba Juice! YUM YUM YUM!

Well, he had a flight early this morning, so I hopped back in the car and drove on home this morning! But, it was nice to get away for a little bit. And now that Dustin has said I am welcome anytime, I think another va-gay-tion might be in order!

ROAD TRIP!!!

Hey boys and girls! That's right, I'm taking a weeekend va-gay-tion to Houston! I'm going visit my friend Dustin who I've know for about 3 or 4 years now. Scary huh?

Anyway, he's now living in Houston, and since he is so close, and Starbucks gave me Sat-Mon off (stupid them), I'm taking a little break from Lafayette and driving on over.

Well, Dustin is super cool and got us tickets to the Scissor Sisters. Now, I'll admit, at first, I had no idea who they were. So I looked them up.

How fagulous is that? I do know that one song .. that "I don't feel like dancing" song. Well, they look like tons of fun, so I think that Dustin and I will have a blast! It's also St. Patty's Day this weekend, so I see plenty of green beer in the future!

Oh, and check this out ...

If they are anything like the Doodlebops, I'll be so happy! ;)

Have a good weekend everyone! I'll see you all later ... and I'll try to remember to take pictures!

Coffee Break!

Dude, Starbucks is giving free coffee! Go get some. And now, for another coffee break!

Twisted Sister.

So I just checked out my brother's blog - not the play one, but the other one - and there was a lovely little entry about me. Funny, cause I had been thinking of doing the same.

That's one of the strange things about Cody and I. We don't really LOOK like brothers. I mean, we do have the same eyes and all, but you wouldn't guess that we were brothers from first glance. But we are so alike, personality-wise.

I've noticed this even more since I've been home, and I've been working with him with the speech kids, and on the Secret Garden, and just talking. Our brains work very similarly. Which is awesome. I feel that I can bring to him a situation, and he can see it through my eyes, but also see it from a different point of view. It's kinda like having a twin. Which is funny, cause we are born on the same day - just 4 years apart.

So, here is to Cody...

Foreign Language...

The English language is crazy. You remember being in school, and there were always rules ... then there were the exceptions to the rules. It just never made sense and drove us all crazy in grade school.

Well, it still does. Day after day, we "say things that we don't mean" or something was "taken the wrong way" or we "just don't understand." Well, do you blame us? The language that we speak is full of loopholes and round-abouts. It's a wonder we aren't still growling at each other.

For example, I've been thinking of the word "missing."

• Missing -adj. - lost, like the missing link, or a missing sock.
• Missing - verb - wanting something that is gone. Like a lost love, or a relative that lives far away, or a friend that you haven't heard from in a while.
• Missing - verb - off target. Not hitting your mark. Like, missing the train, or missing the point.

It just makes you wonder how many of us are going around, taking things the worng way, or completely changing the intentions of others in our heads.

And while we are on the subject of the misunderstood, I don't want all of you in BlogLand to think that I am dwelling over that which I may be "missing" - in all forms of the word. It's just a simple observation I made today when I should have been paying more attention to my driving. It's what happens when the CD player in your car doesn't work and there is nothing good on the radio.

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Wheelin' and Dealin'

Many moons ago, I bought a Saturn. I was living in Florida, and I needed a car, so I went out and bought me one. Well, I loved my little Saturn and it treated me well.

Well, I went on tour, and Saturn just kinda sat there. So when my brother ended up needing a car, I let him take over the payements and have it. Then I came back from tour and it was mine again, then I went back on tour and he took it back.

Which brings up to now. I've been off of tour since October and I have not gotten saturn back. I mean, I've been driving my mom's car and all, but I'd love Saturn back.

Well, I've recently found out that Saturn only has $750 left on the loan for it! So, I'm thinking ... NEW CAR!!! I'll totally trade in Saturn and get something new! I have about $2000 in my savings, and add that to a trade in for Saturn and I'm all set! I want a cute little SUV like this thing. Wouldn't I be so cute behind the wheel?

So, if anyone wants to make donations to the Casey New Car fund, just let me know and we'll arrange something. Hey, maybe I'll take you for a spin!

Blank pages...

So, my brother is a writer. Wanna check out some of his stuff - go to Cody's Life/Play!

Anyway, there is a lesson to learn from him. A blank page is only the beginning. Where as some people get to the end of a book, and see the end once there are no more words. And some people look at a blank page, and see nothing.

He sees just the opposite. A blank page is the start, where you can create new stories. It's only the end because no one has written anything else.

There are many times where life feels like a blank page. Sometimes it feels like someone has gone and erased it all. Sometimes YOU erase it all because you don't want to remember the story. Sometimes the plot just takes a weird turn, and you just have to rewrite the ending. Sometimes stories just need editing.

Here's you you Cody, and taking the fear out of putting pen to paper.

WTF?

Ok, check this shit out! So, this woman used her BABY as a weapon in a domestic dispute with her man! SHE THREW THE BABY AT HIM! The baby suffered a fractured skull, but is ok.

What the hell was this woman thinking?

Here's a video about it all...

http://www.yikers.com/video_idiot_woman_uses_baby_as_a_weapon.html

And now ... something funny.

You bettah laugh, YA HERD!!!!

Confusion...

So, life's taken a turn. And usually people say a turn for the worse, but ... I'm really not sure what direction I'm going in.

It's kinda like this overpass. You know where you are supposed to go. But you look at this, and you can't figure out which road will take you there. You can see your destination there in the distance, and you can see all the other cars headed that way, but you can't for the life of you figure out how they got there. And you know that even if you take the wrong exit, you can eventually find your way back. But who wants to spend their time driving in the wrong direction.

I just don't know where to go. There's no Mapquest for life. Even so, Mapquest gives bad directions sometimes.

I just feel like a horrible driver. With a horrible sense of direction.

Anyone want to take the wheel?

And for my next song ...

I know I'm not the only one here. When ya get all emotional, you can usually pick out a song that matches what you are feeling perfectly. It's like they were thinking about you, at this moment, when they were writing that song. Well, here's mine ... for what I'm feeling now.

There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.
There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time.

And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore.
I don't think that you even know what you're looking for.
For my own sanity, I've got to close the door
And walk away...Oh...

There's a fine, fine line between together and not
And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...
There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

Now, before some people get offended by the lyrics of this song ... I didn't write this. And I wouldn't choose these exact words. And ... for those of you familiar with Avenue Q, things work out in the end.

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