Direction...

I'm in Boston on a trip with the school I teach at. The kids are participating in a national drama and debate tournament, and I've come along to help coach and chaperon the kids.

Well, it's the first time that I have traveled since I left tour. Feelings from the past came rushing back as I packed my suitcase and got on a plane. Walking into the hotel last night - it still felt like home. I was so comfortable.

Which is odd to me. I've been off of tour for months now. I'd gotten used to "real" life. I have 2 jobs, a boyfriend ... normalcy.

Well, today we went out. We traveled in groups. I fucking hate groups. I feel that a group of more than 4 people is too much. Well, of course - as is with large groups - no one could decide on what to do, people go cranky cause we weren't doing what THEY wanted to do, and I got pissed off.

And I got a phone call. Rebecca - one of the performance directors from Sesame Street - called to offer me a short term position. I said no. I have a boyfriend who I don't want to leave. I have jobs that I can't just walk away from. I have a life.

But I do look back at those years on the road and remember the fun that I had. When days were spent at the mall and sight-seeing, and nights were spent with a drink in my hand. I miss it - I do.

But I found this online today ...

Looking at the future means you want something. Looking at the past is needing something.

I want what I have now. I want to see where it's going.