Splish Splash!

I fucking washed my phone! It was in the pocket of a pair of jeans, and it totally went thru the washing machine! FUCK!

It was on when it went in. I've had friends who've done the same thing, so I didn't turn it on or anything. I just took the battery off and I'm letting it dry out. I have my old phone, so I just put my SIM card in that one, and will use that one for a while so the other can dry out.

Any other suggestions?

Sucker punched!

Ok, I'm really confused. It seems that everyone around me is running hot and cold. One day, everything is all great and everyone is happy and friendly. The next, everyone is mad at me and I'm a total bitch. I don't get it.

Is it me? I know that my sudden departure to go back on tour has its effect. I've kinda shifted priorities. A friend of mine said that going on tour is me running from intimacy. No, going on tour is me making money!

I don't want to hurt anyone, or leave on a bad note. I'm coming back in 3 months, and I don't want to come back to issues that have been festering for months!

Can't we all just get along?

A brief lesson for dramatic queers....

This

is not the same as this!

Please note the difference before you go tell someone (who we will call Fag A) 's boyfriend that I was making out with their boyfriend. Actually, Fag A was completely wasted and kept asking me to "kiss him like a whore" - which I'm really not sure what that is anyway. I kissed him on the cheek. I do believe he might have licked me, but I'm sure I was frightened by the whole thing.

For the record, I don't like gay people.

GAY PEOPLE - F!!!!

Too little, too latte!

So, guess who called Monday morning asking if I could come in for an interview?

Yep, Starbucks! Of course they want to give me a job AFTER I said I would go back on the road for 3 months! OOF!

Well, I did tell the lady that I would still be interested, and she said just to come back in when I return! WOO HOO!

Maybe I'll be slinging coffee after tour?

QUEER!!!!!

Drama

Why do gay people have to be so dramatic? Especially relationships.

I would like to recount a little tale of some gays I know. Let's call them Kyle and Bruce.

So, Kyle and Bruce are young, attractive gay men. So naturally, they met and probably had sex on the first night. Well, this now means that they are in a serious relationship and are now dating exclusively. Well, for at least a few days, or until the next big "going out" night.

Then they go on this break up/ get back together thing for a while. They even have it planned out, saying "Oh, we'll probably break up by the end of the week." Well, after being apart for the first past of the week, they ignore each other at the bar on Saturday, but end up together by 2AM.

Or how about these other guys in the bar? One who has this crazy shit in his hair that glows in the black light, and unfortunately, it's not just in his hair, but all over his forehead, too. So embarrassing! Well, I've noticed that the past two weeks, he's ended up in some dark corner, totally sucking face with usually 2 guys at the same time, hands a-groping and whatnot. Very classy. Well, last night, I think his drugs went bad, cause all of a sudden he was on the ground crying and went out the back door! Madness!

Fascinating, isn't it? People, I can't handle this. I mean, seriously? Do you really think this is a healthy situation?

Please gather all personal issues, and exit to your right!

And your next challenge is...

... Make Miss USA look like a lop-sided booby tree trunk. The dress was weird.

Well, now Malan can go explore other careers, such as homicidal maniac or child molester. He was way weird.

And once more, in case you didn't get it ... WEIRD!

Caving in...

So, I got a message today. I got offered to go back on tour.

I said yes.

I need the money, as I don't have a job at the moment. It's the same role I just did, so I already know the show. I'll lose the few pounds I've put back on being home. It's only for a few months. It's with people I like.

I know - it's a step backwards. But ... it's a job. And at least I am doing something in the career I'd want to be doing. Not making lattes or getting peole drunk - although I do kinda want to do that.

Your thoughts?

What are you having???

So, I went and got my temporary bar card today. That's a card so I can legally serve and sell alcohol! So, with that, I am off to the local gay bar to see if I can get a job getting the gays drunk! WOO HOO!

Wish me luck, and I'll keep ya all posted!

PSA!

So, when's the last time you got tested? After lots of time on the road, and traveling so much, it always kinda scared me that I didn't have a regular doctor to go to ... for anything. I really could have used one when my allergies took over my face in California! UGH!

So, when I got home, I went to the doctor for a check up. He said I looked fine, but we did some bloodwork because my family has a horrible history of diabetes, high blood pressure, and pretty much everything else. And I asked him if I could get an HIV test, too. Hey, you're taking my blood, you might as well go all the way!

Well, a few days later - all clear! So, go get tested. I just had to get pricked with a needle and pee in a cup ... which was TOTALLY wierd! I'm sure the regular clinics do the mouth swab thingie! So, go get tested!

Maybe this guy will be there! ;)

Lou'siana Saturday Night!

Yah, so I went out last night. A friend of mine was in town from Denver, CO , so I felt that I need to go out and say hi. I know how it is to be in a city that you are not really familiar with, so I joined him out for a drink.

Well, it amazes me how many people know me. Thanks to the very close-knit gay community of Lafayette and the amazing powers of myspace, I knew a fair amount of people in the bar.

So, it was a fun night of a few free drinks, a little dancing, and lots of watching the tragedy known as the gay scene in Lafayette.

But, overall, a fun night. I was talking to a friend of mine, who seems to know EVERYONE in Lafayette. He said keep your friends close and your enemies closer - a theory I agree with whole-heartedly! So, I'll network and get to know everyone. That way I always have someone to talk to in the bar, I'll get invited to everything, and if I DO get that job bartending ... everyone will come to me.

I just need to work on remembering people's names. I am horrible about that! :)

I KNOW she can dance!

So, this is Allison Holker. She is a contestant on "So You Think You Can Dance?" She is FIERCE! She should totally win!

That's all!

?

Can someone explain what in holy gay hell is going on here?

Guten Tag!

IT STARTS TONIGHT!!!! Ok, so who else is excited?!?

IT'S A MIRACLE!

Get this video and more at MySpace.com

So, I drove to Pigeon Forge, TN this past weekend to see my friend Joey in "The Miracle." It's a Broadway-style show about the life of Jesus Christ.

Well, it was cute. I, personally, giggled a lot - mainly cause people were singing about Jesus, and also at the fact that Joey awas dancing for Jesus.

But overall, the performers were good - some lovely voices! Jesus had a hot body. Overall, entertaining!

The funny part is that the guy that played Adam - as in Adam and Eve - is quitting so they have an imediate opening. Joey wanted me to audition, but I don't think I could do this show with a straight face!

Fags and friends...

So, I am currently in Pigeon Forge, TN visiting my good friend Joey. I know, why the hell am I here. Well, that's another post all together!

Anyway, while he is away at work, I watched this movie today on Logo - the gay cable channel! Loves it!

Well, I've seen this movie before, and it is lovely. It's all about friendship, and faggotry! It's a great movie.

And here's a lovely quote... slighty paraphrased! ;)

"People ask me when I knew I was gay. I can't say, blah blah blah. But I know when I knew it was ok. It's when I met these guys - my friends."

Aww!

...on getting older.

Isn't it weird how people change? You don't see someone for a while, and sometimes it's like the years mean nothing, and you can pick up right where you started. But other times, it's like you never really knew each other to begin with.

Or, you wake up one day, and suddenly you feel older. Not physically, but mentally, too? Like you hold conversations with people, and you feel like you are living in a completely different world than everyone else?

When did we grow up?

CURRY-out or delivery?

Ok, so you all know that I love to eat! Well, thanks to Miss Mary-Elizabeth Milton, I have been introduced to Indian cuisine - AND I LOVE IT!

We went out a few times for Indian, and it's great! I have enjoyed it every time, and have pretty much stuffed myself silly!

Sad news - I have yet to find one here in Lafayette! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!!!



UPDATE! : I think I may have found it! There is a place called Mona's Cafe - it's middle eastern cuisine. I'll let you all know!

.... IN BED!

Don't you just love fortune cookies? It's always a good time at the end of your take-out to sit around and read what your fortune says ... then add IN BED to the end, and they get even better!

Well, I've had a few that I keep in my wallet, cause they were really good fortunes. Here they are...

"Friends long absent are coming back to you" - I got this one right before I went to Holland. Which was cool, because I was really looking forward to seeing those guys again - and some of my best friends were on that tour. I also have a friend that I had not seen in about 6 months come to visit me - so it was a great fortune!

"Family is more valuable than money" - A great fortune to get on the road when you are away from your family for 11 months! :)

"Fame is in your future" - I got this one the last week of tour. Here I am, leaving a job that I have had for 3 years, with no definate plans ahead, and I get that fortune! Crazy huh?

So, enjoy your fortune cookies! Thank you - come again!