Big Ups to MY JESUS!

Say what you will...

Cock Dream...

It's not what you are thinking. I had a dream about fried chicken last night. And I was CRAZY hungry when I woke up. God, I'm a fat ass!

Things that make you go H&M!

This is H&M! It is a lovely store that I first got to know from Chris Harper. There are a few stores in the Northeast and such, but none in the South. So, I learned about the greatness of H&M, and the AWESOME undies they have. I absolutely LOVE the underwear from there. They have a large selection of trunk style boxer briefs, which I love. And they come in all these fun colors and paterns and stuff. They have other fun clothes - (I bought jeans from there yesterday) - but it's the undies that totally win me over. Here are some pics of undies KINDA like H&M, but much more expensive. So, if there is an H&M near ya, feel free to buy me a pair or two!

You knock me off my feet!

My favorite part of the Winter Olympics? Figure skaters falling!

PEE!

You know what's crazy? Urine! It really is! I mean, ever notice how what you eat totally changes the smell and color of your pee? Well, traveling as much as I do, and eating all the crazy crap that I do - I HAVE noticed this. Too much coffee - the pee tells all! Oh, and VITAMINS! When I take vitamins, my pee turns bright yellow and smells just like my vitamins! Eww. Urine just can't keep a secret! Oh, and there is Bree holding some pee!

Disneyland Paris

Ok, so on our days off here in Holland, Chris and I took a trip on down to Disneyland Paris. Now, I had been there before, but looking back, I can't remember doing much there! Also, they have a Lion King show that kinda rips off the one I did in Orlando, so I was curious to see it. Well, this is what you would imagine it would be like - being Disney and all... Well, this is what it actually looked like...

It was rainy and cold the whole day. The Lion King rip-off was blah. It was nice to get out and go somewhere, but this Disney just wasn't as happy and cheery. It was just cold, and wet.

Sorry Mickey - the happiest place on Earth should have better weather!

GOLD MEDAL PERFORMANCE!!!

This is Emanuel Shandu. He's from Canada, and competed in the Olympics. Last night, he skated wearing this outfit. As you can probably see, his penis kinda showed. Well, watching it on TV and getting a full frontal shot, it looked like he had a raging hard-on. Maybe that's why he kept falling down? Anyway, as far as technical merit - he sucked. But in filling out a costume nicely - GOLD MEDAL!!!

Oh, and check out his ass ...


DAMN!!! I love figure skating!

WRONG WAY!

This morning was QUITE the adventure! Well, I agreed to drive Kristin and Shari, two girls on my tour, to the airport this morning. 5:15 this morning to be exact! This was after I was up until 3 after going out for a "going away" drink with Jeffo!

Well, a little backstory ... Shari hates flying. She dreads it. Add on top of that the fact that there was a HUGE blizzard on New York ... where they are flying. So you can imagine the tension!

Well, we left the hotel a few minutes later than planned. There had been crazy traffic thru the week, so I was a little worried about getting them to the airport in time. But, once we got on the road, the traffic was moving right along, and we we're going to be right back on schedule!

Well, we get to the airport, and we start to look for what terminal they are at. AND WE CAN'T FIND IT. So I ask ... "Are you flying out of this airport?" See, there are 2 airports in Houston, and WE WERE AT THE WRONG ONE!!!

They freak out! Poor Shari! They get on the phone with the airline, and I start driving to the other airport, which is an hour away!

Well, Kristin is on hold for an hour, they are calling their friends in NY saying that they'll never make it there - it's madness. Well, we get to the airport when their flight is supposed to be taking off. They go to the ticket counter, and the nice lady assures them that they'll get on another flight! WHEW!

I then had to drive back to the hotel to pack all of my luggage and drive myself to the airport ... and you know I checked which one before I pulled out of the parking lot!

Motel versus Hotel

Ok, so this week we are in a hotel where the room doors open to the outside, as in this picture. Now, this differs from hotels where the room door would open into a hallway. Personally, these hotels freak me out a little. I mean, not only does your room open up to the outside, where ANYONE could be walking by your room, there is also a HUGE window facing the outside too. So, random people could just be walking by, and look right into your room. It kinda freaks me out. What about when I am sleeping? Is there some freaky crazy person trying to peep in through the curtains? It just creeps me out!

The Crying Game...

Ok, so I love all my friends, especially my girl friends. But one thing that annoys me is when they get all upset and cry. ABOUT NOTHING! Or cry about some asshole of a guy that is treating them badly. WHY ARE YOU CRYING OVER HIM? HE'S AN ASSHOLE! I mean, I will fully support you in your bad decisions, but don't cry to me about it. Just freaking deal with it! Oh, and this crying game has been happening while we are out at a bar drinking. Don't ruin my buzz with you boo-hooing! So, wah wah wah, my pussy hurts! Just get over it, and order a drink!

Lost and Found

Ok, so last week we were in Minneapolis. Well, being back on tour, I decided that I should try to be organized and went and bought a new inster thing for my planner - for the new year. Well, I put it all in, and even wrote down our tour schedule. Well, the days go by, and it's time to pack up to head to the next city. Well, the planner is no where to be found. I searched the room like 17 times - still no luck. Now, I know you are thinking that it is just a planner. But here's the catch - my passport was in the planner. The passport that I needed for my trip to Holland in 2 WEEKS! I was freaking out. I didn't want to have to go through all the hassle of getting a new passport. Well, I was cursing all the mexican housekeeper ladies, and I was even eyeing my roommate as a possible suspect!

So, I got my dad to FedEx my birth certificate. I printed out the application for a new passport, and I was about to go and get the ball rolling on this adventure. Then, for some reason, I decided to check my suitcases to see if I possibly had packed it away somewhere and missed it. Now, I was pretty definate that it was no where in my suitcases. I mean, I had just packed them and didn't recall putting the planner in there. Well, low and behold, there is my planner, hiding behind one of my big ass shoes! I felt like SUCH a moron! But, I have my passport! Thank God!

I would just like to apologize for all the bad things I said abut mexican housekeepers and my roommate! Love you guys! :)